Tonight's Top Story...

Longer pieces never really go well for me on stage (the below is actually long for me…), so I’ve only attempted this once, but as the relevant news story has reared it’s head again, I thought I’d post my notes in written form.

The following is a dramatic reenactment of a recent news story.

Hey Bill, isn’t it great being up here on the 493rd floor of this building?

I don’t know Johnny, I’m getting kind of worried.

Why’s that Bill? Is it because he gave us both the same voices? 

No – something even worse. I’ve heard they’re going to implode the building. 

Oh no! What should we do, Bill? Or am I Bill?

I don’t know, I’ve forgotten. I think we need to get out of here… But I’ve been here on the 493rd floor all my life, since my mother gave birth to me.

Did she had the same voice as us? 

Probably. But the point is, we need to get out of here, leave the 493rd floor before they blow up the building. Let’s go as far away as I can think of, somewhere we will be safe during the implosion… Floor 490.

Are you sure we can get there in time?

Oh yeah, we’ll be fine. Plus, when we get there, there’s a vending machine!

Perfect! Yes! If we run away as far away as we can think of to floor 490 and eat all the food in the vending machine, we’ll definitely be safe when they implode this 10,000 story building.

-That was two bison, running away from the Yellowstone volcano.